What to Write With a Sympathy Gift: Messages for Friends, Family, Clients and Coworkers, and When You're Late

We sell a $35 personalized mug gift box, printed, packed and shipped to each person's address. This guide covers the other options too.

Key facts

• One line is the standard. The Emily Post Institute: "A single sincere line expressing the genuine feeling you had for the deceased is all you need to write" (Emily Post).
• Plain words are fine. Funeral director Amy Cunningham, in AARP: "It is perfectly safe and fine to say, 'I'm really sorry your dad died'" (AARP).
• Late is better than never. AARP: "A week or two after the death is the ideal, but it's never too late to write."
• "No need to reply" is a gift. Emily Post's guidance says expressions of sympathy are acknowledged, and one of its exceptions is "when the writer asks that her note not be acknowledged" (Emily Post).
• Don't assume a faith. In Pew Research Center's 2023–24 study, 62% of US adults called themselves Christian, 29% were religiously unaffiliated and 7% belonged to other religions (Pew).

How do you write a sympathy gift message?

Four parts, and you can skip any but the first:

The NIA line is from its page on coping with grief and loss. If you're stuck, a clinical psychologist writing for The Conversation offers this: "I don't have the right words, but I'm here for you" (PBS News).

Each message below is under 300 characters, with no sign-off: your name goes in the sign-off, which prints under the message. "[Name]" is the first name of the person you're writing to.

Sympathy messages for a friend

Sympathy messages for family

Sympathy messages for a coworker

The Emily Post Institute's advice for a coworker's loss: "If you knew him, some kind words about him … would mean a lot. If you didn't know him, you could mention something special you've heard about him." It also suggests offering practical help, "perhaps by helping her with her workload" (Emily Post).

Signing as a team, and what to send: sympathy gifts for a coworker or client.

Sympathy messages to a client, from a business

Here the habit of business writing gets in the way: it wants to sell. A sympathy card from a company carries no offer, no "let us know if we can help with your account" and no logo, because a printed logo turns a condolence into marketing (our view). Name the person, and sign with the names of the people who know them.

When your sympathy gift is late

Write anyway, and keep the apology short: the point is them, not your timing. Daniel Post Senning, coauthor of Emily Post's Etiquette, told AARP: "Oftentimes those little points of connection that happen later on really also have a lot of significance for someone. If someone has passed, their world still is really in upheaval and all of a sudden, they get a note from someone when it seems like everyone else has forgotten" (AARP).

From far away

What to send, and when, from a distance: what to send when someone is grieving and you live far away.

When a pet has died

Gifts and photos for a pet's death: pet loss sympathy gifts.

What not to write in a sympathy card

Faith words: only when you know they share them

Prayers, heaven and God's plan comfort people who share the belief, and can sting people who don't. With more than a third of US adults outside Christianity (29% unaffiliated, 7% other religions, per Pew), a name doesn't tell you which. Use faith words only with people you know share them, such as "We're keeping you in our prayers." Otherwise "thinking of you" says the same thing to everyone.

How to sign a sympathy message

Sign as a person, and as warmly as the relationship allows:

• Family and close friends: "With love, Ana" or "Love always, Tom and Priya".
• Coworkers: "Dana, Sam and everyone on the support team".
• A business to a client: the people who know them: "Maria and Dev, Harbor Design". A company name alone reads like a form letter.

More sign-off examples for business cards: how to sign a business card. Every kind of card message, by occasion: the card message library.

What happens to your message with Personalized Gifts Delivered

The message you write prints on a textured card, with your sign-off under it, and goes in an envelope closed with a gold wax-seal sticker. The card lies on the lid of the gift box, so it's read before the box opens. The message can be up to 300 characters; the order page tells you if a message is too long to print.

• Their first name on every card. Write {first name} where their name goes, and each card fills it in from your address list. A "[Name]" copied from this page is flagged on the order page, with a one-tap fix that turns it into {first name}. One message and one sign-off go on every card in an order; different words for someone else is its own order, and one box is a complete order.
• You see it before it prints. The preview shows every person's card before you pay.
• Under the card: a mug with a photo or a few words you choose, Ghirardelli hot cocoa and 4 Lindt LINDOR milk chocolate truffles inside it, in a matte-black gift box with a magnetic lid.

What to know before you order

• The seal reads "Happy Holidays". This season, the black tissue inside every box is closed with a small gold seal that says "Happy Holidays". For a sympathy gift in the first weeks after a death, know it before you order. The card on the lid, read before the box opens, carries only your words.
• The card is printed, not handwritten. Your message and sign-off are printed on the card. A handwritten letter can go by mail on its own.
• The treats. LINDOR truffles contain milk, soy and barley malt (gluten); read the labels.
• Where we ship and when. From New York to the lower 48 states and Washington, DC, except Texas for now. Ships within 2 business days of a complete order (your design, your address list and payment). Ships by USPS Ground Advantage or UPS Ground, with tracking, and usually arrives 2–5 business days after it ships. Delivery dates are carrier estimates, not guarantees, and run slower in mid-December.

Where Personalized Gifts Delivered fits: your words, with something warm

The hard part of a sympathy gift is the words, and this page gives you those. Personalized Gifts Delivered takes care of the rest: your message printed and sealed on the lid of a personalized mug gift box shipped to their door, with a photo or a few words you choose on an 11 oz white ceramic mug and Ghirardelli hot cocoa and 4 Lindt LINDOR milk chocolate truffles packed inside it. It's packed by hand in a foam collar and ships in a plain white carton whose return address shows PersonalizedGiftsDelivered.com, never your name; your name appears only on the card. You see the card before you pay, and it's $35, delivered, with no minimum.