# Winning Back a Lapsed Client: Does a Gift Help? What the Research Says, and the Note to Send

A gift can reopen the door with a lapsed client if it asks for nothing back. In experiments with more than 5,900 people, those who reached out underestimated how much the contact was appreciated, more so when it came as a surprise. Send a thank-you for past work, no pitch, then follow up a few weeks later.

*We sell a $35 logo mug gift box, printed, packed and shipped to each person's address. This guide covers the other options too.*

**Key facts**
- **Reaching out is appreciated more than senders expect:** across experiments with "more than 5,900 participants", people who initiated contact "significantly underestimated the extent to which recipients would appreciate the act of reaching out" ([APA release](https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/958120), July 11, 2022, on Liu et al., *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology*).
- **Some of those experiments used a gift:** participants sent "a short note, or a note and a small gift, to someone in their social circle with whom they had not interacted in a while" (same release; friends and acquaintances, not clients).
- **Old ties still work:** in a study of Executive MBA students, "reconnecting dormant ties … can be extremely useful" ([Levin, Walter & Murnighan, *Organization Science*, 2011](https://econpapers.repec.org/RePEc:inm:ororsc:v:22:y:2011:i:4:p:923-939)).
- **No-strings gifts build loyalty:** in retail field experiments on gifts "provided with no strings attached", the authors found "Gratitude is a positive emotional response that builds long-term loyalty" ([BI Business Review](https://www.bi.no/en/research/business-review/articles/2026/03/giving-without-asking/), Mar 2026, on Fombelle et al., *Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science*).

Part of our [client gifts](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/client-gifts) guide: what to give clients, when, and how to ship one to each address.

## Does a Gift Help Win Back a Lapsed Client?

It helps with the part that's hardest: the first contact after a long silence. We found no study that sends gifts to lapsed business clients and counts who came back. The closest evidence comes from three directions, each labelled for what it is.

| Study | Who was studied | What it found | What it means for a win-back |
|---|---|---|---|
| Liu, Rim, Min & Min (2022) | More than 5,900 people reaching out to their social circle | Senders underestimated how much the contact was appreciated, more so "when the communication was more surprising" or "the social ties between the two participants were weak" | A client you haven't heard from in a year can be a surprising contact and a weak tie |
| Levin, Walter & Murnighan (2011) | Executive MBA students consulting old contacts on a work project | Outcomes from consulting dormant ties "compared favorably to those of their current ties" | A relationship that went quiet still holds value |
| Fombelle et al. (2026) | Retail shoppers given a gift with no purchase required | Gratitude "builds long-term loyalty"; the effects held "for both brand-new and existing customers" | Give first, and ask for nothing in the same breath |

None of these proves a gift will bring a client back. Together they say the first contact is worth making, and that the way to make it is with gratitude, not a sales ask.

## Which Lapsed Clients Get a Gift, and What the Card Does

A client goes quiet for different reasons, and the reason decides the card. Our suggestions:

| Why they went quiet | What the card does | When to send |
|---|---|---|
| **The project ended well** | Thanks them for the work, asks how it's going | Any time; January works well |
| **Budget paused or cut** | Thanks them, says you'd be glad to hear from them | At the start of their budget year |
| **Your contact changed jobs** | Congratulates them on the new role | Within a month of the move |
| **They left over a problem you've fixed** | Names the fix, thanks them for the push | After a call or a letter first |
| **A renewal or contract is in play** | Thanks them for choosing you | After the signature, never during |

On that last row, Ogletree Deakins, writing on client gift policies: "Even with a long-standing client, if you are attempting to renew a contract or negotiate an increase in business, the timing of a gift may be perceived as an inappropriate attempt to influence the business decision in your favor" ([Ogletree Deakins](https://ogletree.com/insights/2014-12-11/yule-time-tips-part-iii-holiday-gifts-under-increasing-scrutiny)).

A contact who moved to a new company is two relationships: the person, who now buys somewhere else, and their old employer, which still has your files. Each can get its own gift.

## How to Reach Out Without Sounding Desperate

The difference between gratitude and a pitch is in the words. The Fombelle study separates two feelings a gift can create: gratitude, which "builds long-term loyalty", and obligation, "a more 'uncomfortable' feeling of indebtedness" ([BI Business Review](https://www.bi.no/en/research/business-review/articles/2026/03/giving-without-asking/)). Its summary puts the choice plainly: "if the goal is to build a ten-year relationship, focus on gratitude."

| Write | Leave out | Why (our suggestion) |
|---|---|---|
| "We miss working with you" | "We miss your business" | One is about the work and the person; the other is about money |
| A specific project you did together | A list of your services | Specific memory reads as thanks; a list reads as a brochure |
| A question about them ("How did the launch go?") | A discount, a coupon or "come back" offer | A price inside a gift turns it into a pitch |
| Your name, as a person | "The team at [company]" alone | A person can be answered; a company can be ignored |
| Nothing else | "Can we set up a call?" | Save the business question for the follow-up |

One worry stops senders: the awkwardness. Chicago Booth researchers asked people writing thank-you letters to predict the reaction, then asked the recipients: "Expressers significantly underestimated how surprised recipients would be about why expressers were grateful, overestimated how awkward recipients would feel, and underestimated how positive recipients would feel" ([UChicago News](https://news.uchicago.edu/story/people-underestimate-value-sending-letters-appreciation), 2018, on Kumar & Epley, *Psychological Science*). More on the research: [why the note matters](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/why-gifts-work/why-the-note-matters).

## The Note: Six "We Miss Working With You" Card Templates

Each is under 300 characters, with {first name} filled in from your list. Change the bracketed words to your own before you order; the sign-off is its own field.

> {first name}, we miss working with you. Thank you for [the project]: it's still one of our favorites. No agenda here, just a thank-you, and we'd love to hear how things are going.

> Hi {first name}, a new year felt like the right time to say thank you for [the work we did together]. We hope [their company] is off to a strong start.

> Congratulations on the new role, {first name}. Working with you on [the project] was a highlight for our team. Enjoy the cocoa, and good luck in the new seat.

> {first name}, you told us [the problem], and you were right. We've since [the fix]. Thank you for the push, and for the years you trusted us.

> Hi {first name}, it's been a while, and we didn't want another year to pass without saying thank you for [the project]. We hope it's still paying off.

> {first name}, [two] years ago this month we started [the first project] together. We still talk about it. Thank you for trusting us with it.

The same message and sign-off go on every card in an order. Clients who fit the same note can share one order, each card greeting its person by first name; a different note is a separate order, and one box is a complete order. More wording: [thank-you messages for clients](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/card-messages/thank-you-messages-for-clients).

## The Follow-Up: What Happens After the Box Ships

The gift opens the door; the follow-up is where business can come back in. Our suggestions:
- **Wait two to three weeks.** Long enough that the follow-up is its own message, not a "did you get it?"
- **Keep it to one question.** "Is anything on your plate this year we could help with?" is enough.
- **Log the answer.** Note who replied, who sent a thank-you, and who came back within 90 days. Our [client gift tracker](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/client-gifts/client-gift-tracker) lays out the columns.
- **Stop after one follow-up.** A second unanswered email reads as the pitch the gift was careful not to be.

## What Sending Win-Back Gifts Yourself Takes

Yes: you can pack win-back gifts yourself, and by our estimate 25 logo mug gift boxes take about 9 hours of hands-on work, plus a week or more waiting for supplies to arrive:
- **Sourcing, about 2 hours:** a mug printer and a proof, then about 8 more orders (gift boxes, tissue, seal stickers, cards and envelopes, foam, cartons, crinkle, cocoa, truffles).
- **The list and the cards, about 2¼ hours:** old addresses checked, labels bought, cards written or printed.
- **Packing and shipping, about 4½ hours:** about 8 minutes a box, then the drop-off and the tracking numbers.

Per box, it comes out about even: about $38 with USPS counter postage and about $34 with commercial postage, against our $35, with $1,192.84 paid up front for the mugs, the retail supply packs and 25 postage labels, as of Oct 29, 2026 ([DIY vs ordering, itemized](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/compare/diy-mug-gift-box-vs-ordering)). A lapsed client's address is the oldest on your list, and a stale address sends a box away and back.

Ordering from us, by contrast: upload a logo (or type your website), paste the list, check the preview, pay. We print, pack and ship each box to its own address.

## What to Know Before You Order

- **Gift limits.** Each box is $35, delivered. Some employers and industries cap the gifts their people may accept; the limits, quoted from their sources: [client gift limits by industry](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/gift-rules/client-gift-limits-by-industry).
- **The seal says "Happy Holidays".** The tissue in every box closes with a gold "Happy Holidays" seal; your card carries the win-back message.
- **One message per order.** Every card in an order carries the same message and sign-off, with each person's first name filled in from your list.
- **Check old addresses.** If a box arrives broken, send us a photo within 7 days of delivery and we'll reship it free. If a box goes astray because of an address on your list, we'll reship it to the corrected address for what the reship costs us, with no markup, and tell you the amount before we send it.
- **The treats.** LINDOR truffles contain milk, soy and barley malt (gluten); read the labels.
- **Where we ship.** The lower 48 states and Washington, DC, except Texas for now; we ship from New York. The order page flags any row we can't ship to, so you can fix it or take it out.

## Where Personalized Gifts Delivered Fits: One Former Client, One Box

A win-back list can be short: five clients, or one. Personalized Gifts Delivered has no minimum, so a single former client is a complete order at $35, delivered. Add your logo (or type your website and we'll find it), or a photo or a few words for a personal gift; check the preview of your mug and card; add your address list; and pay $35 per box. We print, pack and ship each box to its own address.

The client opens your logo printed small on an 11 oz white ceramic mug, a 1.5 oz packet of Ghirardelli premium hot cocoa and 4 Lindt LINDOR milk chocolate truffles packed inside it, and your note printed on a textured card that greets them by first name, in a matte-black gift box with a magnetic lid. It's packed by hand in foam, in a plain white carton whose return address shows PersonalizedGiftsDelivered.com.

Ships within 2 business days of a complete order (your design, your address list and payment). Ships by USPS Ground Advantage or UPS Ground, with tracking, and usually arrives 2–5 business days after it ships. Delivery dates are carrier estimates, not guarantees, and run slower in mid-December. When your boxes ship, you get one email with a spreadsheet of recipient, ship date, carrier, tracking number and $35 per box. The ship date is the day to start counting toward your follow-up. The [custom logo mug gift box, shipped to each client, no minimum](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/custom-logo-mug-gift-box) is $35 per box, delivered, whether you send 1 or 50.

## Frequently asked questions

### Can a gift win back a lapsed client?

A gift can reopen the door with a lapsed client, but it doesn't close a sale: send a thank-you for past work that asks for nothing, then follow up a few weeks later. In APA-published experiments with more than 5,900 people, those who reached out underestimated how much the contact was appreciated.

### What should I write to a client I haven't worked with in a while?

Write two or three sentences that thank them for specific past work, ask how they are, and leave out prices and offers: "{first name}, we miss working with you. Thank you for [the project]. No agenda here, just a thank-you."

### How do I reconnect with a former client without sounding desperate?

Make the first contact a thank-you, not a pitch: no discount, no "we miss your business", no request for a call. Talk about the work you did together and about them, sign it as a person, and save any business question for a separate follow-up.

### When is a good time to reach out to a lapsed client?

January and February work well for a win-back gift (our suggestion): the holiday rush is over, and a calendar-year business starts its new budget. Avoid the middle of a contract negotiation, when "the timing of a gift may be perceived as an inappropriate attempt to influence the business decision in your favor" (Ogletree Deakins).

### Is it awkward to send a gift to a client who stopped working with us?

In Chicago Booth research on thank-you letters, writers "overestimated how awkward recipients would feel, and underestimated how positive recipients would feel."

### Who will ship one logo gift box to a single former client, with a card?

Personalized Gifts Delivered ships a $35 logo mug gift box, delivered, with no minimum: one box to one former client is a complete order. Your message is printed on a card that greets them by first name, and you see the mug and card before you pay.

## Sources

1. American Psychological Association, ["Friends enjoy being reached out to more than we think"](https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/958120) (news release, July 11, 2022, via EurekAlert; read Oct 29, 2026), on Liu, Rim, Min & Min, "The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More than We Think," *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology*
2. Levin, Walter & Murnighan, ["Dormant Ties: The Value of Reconnecting"](https://econpapers.repec.org/RePEc:inm:ororsc:v:22:y:2011:i:4:p:923-939), *Organization Science* 22(4):923–939 (2011; abstract read Oct 29, 2026)
3. Anders Gustafsson, ["Giving without asking"](https://www.bi.no/en/research/business-review/articles/2026/03/giving-without-asking/), BI Business Review (Mar 17, 2026; read Oct 29, 2026), on Fombelle et al., "The effects of unconditional gifts on customer-firm relationships," *Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science* (2026)
4. Sandra M. Jones, ["People underestimate value of sending letters of appreciation"](https://news.uchicago.edu/story/people-underestimate-value-sending-letters-appreciation), UChicago News (Sep 5, 2018; read Oct 29, 2026), on Kumar & Epley, *Psychological Science* (2018)
5. Ogletree Deakins, [Yule Time Tips, Part III: Holiday Gifts Under Increasing Scrutiny](https://ogletree.com/insights/2014-12-11/yule-time-tips-part-iii-holiday-gifts-under-increasing-scrutiny) (Dec 11, 2014; read Oct 29, 2026)
6. [DIY mug gift box vs ordering](https://personalizedgiftsdelivered.com/compare/diy-mug-gift-box-vs-ordering) (our itemized costs, as of Oct 29, 2026)